Ah, ClubFest – a time when clubs eagerly wait for the hordes of overly-ambitious freshman to trade their souls netIDs away for a piece of candy. While an insane number of clubs made an appearance yesterday, there was still something left to be desired. Below are the 11 clubs we wished were at ClubFest.
1. Bigfoot Hunting Society
Because what better way to use SAFC funds than for night-vision goggles, tranquilizer guns, and sasquatch-sized nets?
2. Juggling Club
It wouldn’t even have to be about actual juggling. Having a club to learn how to juggle coursework, extracurriculars, a social life, and a healthy sleep cycle – now that’s a club Cornellians need.
3. Squirrel Club
There are so many awesome squirrels around campus, wouldn’t it be great if there was a club dedicated just to watching them run around all day, and documenting their many adventures? Wait? You mean there already is one? Who the hell comes up with this sort of thing?
4. Wine Tasting Club
If HADM 4300: Introductions to Wines’ course enrollment is any indication, this would probably be Cornell’s most active club yet.
5. The Nametag Society
This actually used to exist on campus. Members literally just wore a “Hi my name is __” nametag all the time. As someone who is absolutely horrible with remembering names, this would be insanely useful.
6. Fight Club
Actually… this is actually a horrible idea. Don’t do this. Seriously. Why are we even talking about this right now?
7. Cornell Adventure Club
A club dedicated to exploring Cornell’s most secretive locations on campus. A chance to finally find the supposed Sage Chapel catacombs? Count us in.
8. Humans/ People of Ithaca – Cornell Chapter
This could go one of two ways. Either it will end up something like Humans of New York, or something more like People of Wal-Mart. Either way, there’s plenty to work with here.
9. Cornell Gainz Guild
Anyone who has to walk up the Slope everyday would have an automatic membership, and Snapchat Gainz Guy will be our beloved leader.
10. Happy Dave Fan Club
Speaking of beloved leaders, it’s a surprise that this club doesn’t already exist. A club dedicated to Okenshield’s ever-peppy greeter is long overdue.
11. Underwater Basket Weaving Club
As Cornell currently fails to offer such a course, and thus failing to live up to its mantra of “any person, any study,” it’s time to take the responsibility in our own hands. Club meetings are 4:30 every Monday, at the bottom of Beebe lake.
