11 Spring Break Plans, Decoded

Author: Catherine Giese

As Spring Break draws to a close, we find ourselves faced with the classic and inevitable question: “What did you do over spring break?” For those who went someplace warm and sunny, this is an opportunity to show off your worldliness. But for those of us who didn’t have big plans, there’s a pressure to embellish their Spring Break stories to make their lives seem more interesting than they are. It’s not entirely our fault; how else would we uphold our shiny Instagram reputations? Here are some typical responses and what they actually mean.

 

1. “I hung out with some friends”

 

Translation: I saw one friend because all my other friends had Spring Break two weeks ago.  In reality, I spent most of my time with my mom and my cat.

 

2. “I just kind of chilled”

 

Translation: I slept–a lot. My parents even thought I was dead on multiple occasions.

 

3. “I went to Cancun”

 

Translation: I don’t remember anything, so don’t ask.

 

4. “I explored the city”

 

Translation: I went to this cupcake place one day and Instagrammed it, so please assume my entire break was as hip and cool as that one isolated instance.

 

5. “I ate”

 

Translation: I took advantage of free food and home cooking. I’ve never appreciated my parents more.

6. “I went to California”

 

Translation: I didn’t see any celebrities but, like, I saw the Hollywood sign and went to the beach. It’s basically the same thing.

 

7. “I visited family”

 

 

Translation: My parents dragged me to see aging relatives and I hated every second of it. Seven of my relatives are voting for Trump and I lost my faith in humanity.

 

8. “I applied for internships and caught up on work”

 

Translation: I sent in one resume via Handshake and read a few pages of my textbook, but I want you to think I’m responsible.

 

9. “Netflix and chill”

 

Translation: I pretty much spent all break lying in one spot and binge watching “Making a Murderer.”

 

10. “I went to a concert”

 

Translation: I’m super chill and and want you to fit me with whichever stereotypes are associated with the artist I mentioned.

 

11. “Nothing”

 

Translation: I have no shame.