Studying might keep us busier than we might like most days, but it’s always nice to take a break to catch up on our favorite TV shows. Sometimes they let us indulge in some glamorous other life, but most of the time, they’re flat-out unrelatable. The Kardashians might be #goals, but not many of us can imagine wearing $75,000 earrings, let alone losing them in the ocean. If the KarJenners (or any other TV personalities) start to make your own life feel inadequate, take a break to imagine what it would be like to keep up with some Cornellians instead with these seven TV spin-offs.
Untold Stories of the RA
Untold Stories of the ER might showcase some unbelievable medical accidents, but Cornell’s brave resident advisors definitely have some stories on file that would unsettle even the most iron of stomachs. From bathrooms covered in bodily fluids to twenty person pre-games in eight by ten dorm rooms, an RA’s life is never boring. Seeing dramatizations of their wildest tales would help give the rest of us some perspective on how difficult the job can be–or accidentally become the impetus to try to get featured.
Survivor: Cornell
The original show might have cast members competing in crazy stunts in far-off locations around the globe, but a season set at Cornell would feature unprecedented obstacles. From staying awake in the most boring lecture of all time after an all-nighter to walking the icy slope (without falling) at midnight in January, our contestants would struggle with real things we deal with every day–finally validating our complaints to friends and family back home. Plus, how satisfying would it be to vote that annoying kid from lecture off the island?
RPCC Rules
Sure, Vanderpump Rules might show some major drama going on between the many employees of West Hollywood restaurant SUR. But RPCC Rules would be even more juicy, because it would give us a glimpse into the stuff we already suspect happens behind the scenes of–let’s face it–the best eatery on North. Which staff members are hooking up in the dishroom? How much do they judge us when we come back for that third serving of mac and cheese? Is the soft serve really ice cream? Throw a camera crew in the mix and we’ll get the answers to these pressing questions, and more.
161 Ways to Die
From getting beaned with the clocktower pumpkin to drowning during the swim test, 161 Ways to Die would definitely give its precursor a run for its money. By dramatizing ridiculous ways that people could get injured on campus, the show would highlight that, despite how extensive academic opportunities on campus might be, the class we might need most is one in common sense.
Transfer Girl
Transfer Girl would star junior transfer Bess Night as she moves into a Collegetown apartment with three quirky dudes she’s never met before. The show follows their antics as they navigate life and roommateship in their cramped, overpriced apartment. (Where’s a giant Los Angeles loft when you need one?) Bess would quickly fall for roommate Vick, but encounter problems between her save-the-world pre-med optimism and Vick’s pre-law cynicism. The show would offer an honest look at Cornell life and relationships through these four crazy roommates.
House Hunters: Cornell
Finding housing after freshman year (when it’s so gloriously, easily decided for us) is the biggest struggle for many students come each September. With many terrible landlords and a complicated search process, it would be so much easier if someone was there to guide us through. House Hunters: Cornell would not only help the lucky few find their dream apartment, but offer the rest of us a go-to guide on how to go about our search. Our housing requirements (available, has furniture) might differ from the couples’ on the show (walk-in closets, fenced-in backyard with landscaped pool and waterfall), but when it comes to real estate, we could use just as much help.
The Walking Big Red
We might not live in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, but we definitely have our own brand of campus zombies. Each half-season would focus on the different exam periods–from prelim season to group projects to finals–where we can hardly remember our own names, let alone the function of mitochondria or how to write a paper in MLA format. From scavenging for food because we don’t time to grocery shop to holing up in Olin or Uris every night to wearing the same outfit for days (read: weeks) on end, The Walking Big Red would be a new type of horror show, because it would be the realest, scariest one of all.
