Ah, the profile picture. On the surface, it’s just a photo that appears next to your name on Facebook. However, in reality it’s so much more. It’s the photo that becomes your introduction when someone says, “Do you know her? Let me look her up.” And with the numerous services Facebook links to, it also can be seen in address books, Spotify pages, and GroupMe messages. Considering the amount of people who see your profile picture, it’s no wonder that changing it is a multi-day, multi-step process.
1Deciding it’s time
You look at your Facebook and realize that it’s been far too long since you last changed your profile pic. Like, so long that you’re basically catfishing everyone, like the people on dating sites who use photos of their younger, hotter selves.
2Planning
Once you’re determined to post a new profile pic, you need to think about when you’re going to take it. You can take a profile picture literally anywhere, but you have to pick a time when you know your outfit/hair/makeup will be on point.
3Forcing someone to be your personal photographer
When the preselected event has arrived, you should find someone who won’t mind taking 233,243 photos. Except this occasion will likely be more awkward than the average, photo op because this time you are aiming to get photos of just yourself. It will be you, standing off to the side, trying to have your own model moment while pretending that you aren’t in the middle of a crowded darty.
4Editing your options
After looking through the photos you took and deciding that 95% of them are trash, it’s time to get to work on your remaining options. Cue the 2-7 photo editing apps that you have on your phone for this exact purpose. Adjust the contrast, brightness, highlights, shadows, temperature, and filter until you look your best.
5Texting the group chat with options
Although you look slammin’ in all the photos, only one can be your primary social representation for the foreseeable future. This decision is too monumental to be handled alone, so you post a couple of options to the group chat to see what the squad thinks. After the obligatory fire emojis, everyone comes to consensus that #3 is the real winner.
6Posting it
The moment of truth has come. You upload the photo and try to think of a clever caption. If it were still socially acceptable to use song lyrics, it would be “So baby hold me closer…” despite the fact that you have no one in your life to actually hold you.
7Panicking
Your photo has been up for nearly a minute and not a single like. To get the ball rolling you might send a few, casual texts like, “GO LIKE MY PROFILE PIC OR WE AREN’T FRIENDS ANYMORE AND I’M TAKING YOUR DOG.”
8Watching the likes roll in
Finally, they come. You probably have a predetermined number that you’re trying to reach (at very least what you got on your last pic), so you check your phone every thirty seconds to see how close you are to your goal.
9Relief
The photo is up and has a respectful number of likes. You can finally breathe because you won’t have go through this process any time soon.
