Dear Cornell Students,

Thanks for clicking! It’s me, Posey, ambassador for visiting pets everywhere. I want to start by saying that I hope you guys know how lucky you are. College campuses are great. There’s food everywhere, squirrels that aren’t remotely skittish, and open spaces to play Frisbee and catch (or to sleep if you’re more like me.) I’m still waiting to get my SAT scores back, but if all goes as planned, I’d like to become a Cornellian myself. And I’m pretty sure my scores are going to be high because I’ve learned how to press the button on the cookie dispenser with my nose and that takes some major brain power.

Anyway, I want to thank you guys for making me feel so very  loved. It’s a strange combination of heartbreak and thrill to see you guys throw yourselves at me because you miss your own dogs so much. On my last visit, one kid hugged me for a solid two minutes. It’s a bit concerning how cuddle-deprived you guys are.  

Visiting Cornell has been great for my self-esteem. When I climb out the trunk of my car, people scream like I’m Justin Bieber. Which I guess isn’t that shocking since news broke that the Biebs peed in a mop bucket. I’ve peed on the carpet before, but urinating in a mop bucket is just so vulgar. America, we deserve better. And Biebs, yes, it is too late to say sorry. (That’s a great song though.)

I’m going off on a tangent again. The point is that my visits to Cornell have been great. They’re when I get to be reunited with my human sister. Everytime I see her I dance with excitement like she’s been living in Siberia for four years and hasn’t written me a single letter. We fall down on the Slope together and trade stories. She’s great, but the real reason I visit is for the celebrity status that I experience walking these hallowed hills. It’s intoxicating; SO much better than kibble.

I know you guys miss your own pets, but fear not. In the words of one dreamy Enrique Iglesias, let me be your hero. I’ll be here to fulfil your puppy love needs. You can find me most visiting weekends under the Balch Arch. No appointments necessary; just stop on by and massage me.

Thanks for the good times Cornell. More to come.

XOXO,

Posey