Author: Asha McLachlan

I just broke up with my boyfriend and I’m trying to get some space. Every time I go out, I end up seeing him at Pixel and it ruins my whole night. I don’t want to be lame and not go out. What should I do?
-Cramped Style

 

Dear Cramped Style,

Never give an ex the power to impede you from enjoying any part of your college experience! It’s understandable that someone who incites negative emotions for you can put a damper on your mood, especially when it’s virtually unavoidable to run into each other. But if you want to regain control over your individuality and freedom (as us single ladies love to emphasize), you just have to do your best to push past the discomfort – don’t let him have so much sway on how your night goes. When you’re out, focus on how much fun you’re having in the moment with your friends, and let go of whatever it is about seeing him that’s holding you back; treat him as if he were any other wild and sweaty pixel patron. Optimize your time while out – give yourself some incentive to have a dope night to be proud of in the morning. Although I encourage you to go wherever you want and not run from the situation, you could always avoid pixel if you know he’s a regular. Ultimately, you should exclusively focus on you and your night out rather than where he’s going to be. He’s your ex, so treat him accordingly.

Sincerely,

Asha

 

One of my good friends makes fun of me to my face and thinks it’s funny to tell people embarrassing stories about me. I usually laugh along with it and act like it doesn’t bother me. If I say something now, I feel like it will just cause more drama than necessary. How do I tell her to stop?
-Court Jester

 

Dear Court Jester,

You have every right to protect your dignity, especially if someone whom you consider a friend is making you feel that it’s jeopardized. If you want her to stop, the only way to do that is to confront her. Say something like, “I told you that story in confidence, and I would rather that other people didn’t know such personal details,” or you can directly admit, “I’m so embarrassed that you said that about me in front of everyone, so could you please not do that.” Chances are your friend doesn’t even realize that she’s hurting your feelings, or making you feel the way that you do. Sometimes the way in which people express their humor is at the expense of others – without even realizing it. If this is the case, she will likely stop once you address the issue. However, if she continues to show no regard for your feelings, you might want to consider dropping her as a friend– true friends are supportive and should enhance one another’s self esteem, rather than hinder and diminish it simply for the benefit of a few laughs.

Sincerely,

Asha

 

My roommate works out all the time and tries to be super fit. It’s like she feels like she’s competing to be the most athletic when no one cares. She always makes it a point to tell everyone about her workouts. How do I tell her to stop talking about it?
-Rooming With Schwarzenegger

 

Dear Rooming with Schwarzenegger,

Let your friend rock! Clearly she takes pride in her dedication to personal fitness and motivation, so you should allow her that gratification regardless of whether anyone wants to hear her brag about it. Sometimes we have to let people win at their own one-person-game for the sake of peace, even if it feels like they’re being narcissistic. However, if she’s being really competitive and putting others down, you can call her out in a way that won’t crush her sense of achievement. Drop some knowledge like, “One person’s success is not the absence of your own, so you can let others have their shine too,” or, “You can be supportive of other people’s accomplishments while still celebrating your own.” Allow her to realize that she doesn’t need to be ostentatious in order to be recognized for her fitness. After all, it isn’t the worst thing in the world – the benefit to having a vain friend is that when you go out, you’ll at least know that you guys look good as a unit.

Sincerely,

Asha

Asha is Slope Media’s weekly advice columnist, seeking to help students resolve the issues they may encounter and to answer those tough questions from the perspective of one of their peers. Got a question? Email zoe.forster@www.slopemedia.org.