The English language is exemplary in its ability to beautifully, perfectly, and wholly capture, in a single word, the essence of an object, person, or act. Even more elegant than this all-encompassing lexicon are the colloquialisms we’ve created to describe seemingly ritual behavior. For example, “grabbing some grub,” or “hitting the sack” are flowery illustrations of eating and sleeping, the two most basic human actions. The crème de la crème of American phraseology, however, only emerges within our sexual terminology. It is for this reason that I have compiled a list of my favorite slang words for… doing the nasty.
1. Fuck (the classic)
2. Nail
3. Rail
4. Bang
5. Shag
6. Screw
7. Bone
8. Jump someone’s bones
9. Smoosh (a la Jersey Shore)
10. Pork
11. The ‘ole heave ho
12. Fornicate
13. Bury the bishop
14. Hide the salami
15. Bump uglies
16. Tap dat ass
17. Bonk
18. Lay pipe
19. Make whoopie
20. Knock boots
21. Make sexy-time (Borat)
22. Roll in the hay
23. Pound
24. Hump
25. Smash (as in…”Imma smash that.”)
26. Schtup
27. Get your freak on
28. Fork (common side effect of spooning)
29. Get some ass
30. Get laid
31. Get some tail
32. Score
33. Copulate
34. Boff
35. Mate
36. Have relations
37. Get it on (Marvin Gaye style)
38. Do the horizontal boogie
39. Get jiggy with it
40. Slap skin
41. Beaver bash
42. Make babies
43. Do the no-pants-dance
44. Get one’s dick wet
45. Scrump (combo of screw + hump)
46. Plow
47. Part the meat curtains
48. Poon
49. Get it in
50. Make love
51. Run train
52. Pipe out
More to come as I think of them!
