Are Freshmen Doing Prelim Season Right?

Author: Zoe Zaneteas

Oh my God, prelims. Is it just me, or did no one else ever use the term “prelim” before they arrived at Cornell? But whatever you call them, this first round of real college tests is definitely freaking me out. Besides the terrible timing (Grey’s Anatomy is finally back), I really don’t know what to expect as a freshman. Although I have only one prelim (Ancient Greek history), I feel that it is just as daunting as Organic Chemistry due to the added pressure of impressing the incredibly attractive TA who will grade my test. Luckily, I plan ahead. Over the last few days, I have devised a careful and thorough study strategy to woo him with my knowledge of the kumare (aka a vase that was the the red solo cup of the ancient world) and to earn a grade that confirms that I belong here at Cornell.

The Plan

-Take notes in class in between browsing catsinsinks.com and subtly texting on my computer (Thank God for iMessage).

-Create a study playlist on Spotify featuring obscure bands that make me seem hip and effortlessly cool.

-Read all of the assigned texts and highlight important information.

-Type out aforementioned highlighted important information.

-Write out all notes in a color-coded manner.

-Memorize color-coded notes while watching Grey’s Anatomy premiere.

-Continue memorizing color-coded notes while re-watching all other Grey’s Anatomy episodes on Netflix.

-Consider becoming the next Christina Yang and changing my major.

-Realize that I’m scared of hospitals and return to the task at hand.

-Wear glasses, leggings, and a Cornell sweatshirt to feel more in tune with a studious lifestyle.

-Cry from the stress under my Snuggie so my roommate doesn’t see.

-Stare at the Beyoncé poster on my ceiling for inspiration.

-Go to the library for the first time all year.

-Think about the sexy TA instead of studying.

-Sleep on textbook to absorb information through osmosis.

-Take test.

-Nap for the foreseeable future.

-Get Insomnia Cookies with friends because we survived our first set of prelims.