The Art of the Perfect Yak

Author: Danielle Grinberg

It was my first night at Cornell. I was an eager freshman awaiting my future filled with challenging academics, new friends, and endless freedom (a.k.a. not having to text my mom every time I miss curfew, because I no longer had one, #CollegeLyfe). My roommate was sitting next to me laughing uncontrollably at her phone when she turned it around to show me an unfamiliar mint-colored screen.

“What is this?” I asked her, still confused. She looked appalled–“Yik Yak? You’ve never heard of it?” I shook my head and listened as she explained this new form of procrastination to me.

Yik Yak, a social media app famed for its compulsory anonymity, was created by Tyler Droll and Brooks Buffington, graduates of Furman University. Almost a year since its initial launch in November 2013, Yik Yak has become a phenomenon among college students around the country. Using GPS technology, the app locates the user and displays yaks within a 1.5 mile radius zone. The user can then read, write, and up-vote or down-vote Yaks.

I of course, unable to resist your typical buzzfeed-style listicle, decided to take a look at some of Cornell’s “Top Yaks” (determined by amount of upvotes received) so that we can recognize some of the genius anonymity of this prestigious institution:

 

Yak: “I think I made out with my TA last night…”

Make sure to put that in the “special comments” section of your TA evaluation. A+ for you!!!

 

Yak: “Don’t cry because you’re hungover, smile because you were hammered(:”

While most people respond to this situation with the beloved “I am never drinking again,” I gotta give it to this kid for the optimism.

 

Yak: “The Slope: Cornell’s way of helping its students counteract the effects of the delicious ice cream”

Rather walk up the slope than gain the freshman 15! #CornellCalves

 

Yak: “Typing your essay in single space till the end so that you can get excited when you change it to double space.”

Yes, this just confirms the fact that we are all nerds here–all of us. Don’t even try to deny it.

 

Yak: “Procrastinating so hard, I took the time to safely eject my USB”

The epitome of procrastination is this, my friends. Normally I just rip my USB out of my laptop, so times like these are when you know you do NOT want to be doing your work.

Yak: “Yeah I graduated Cornell with a BA and MA, and a JA!”

True goals.

 

Yak: “American Horror Story: Prelim Season”

I think we can all just agree how self-explanatory this one is… Prelims = Death. Plus that would make for a GREAT season. Jessica Lange as the orgo professor, I already love it.

 

Yak: “Deleted my tinder. Deep regrets. Now I’ll never find true love.”

Yes you won’t find true love, but maybe you’ll find time to actually study instead of looking at your phone every 5 seconds to see if you have a new match.

 

Yak: “If Ezra can’t be proud of his school’s football team, at least he can feel secure in the knowledge that Cornell has the strongest yak game around.”

True. Have you gone home during fall break and ever looked at your high school’s Yak feed? Well, I haven’t because I’m pretty sure it’s nonexistent. Cornell’s Yaks may be really weird and even stupid sometimes, while causing our 20 minute problem sets to last 2 hours, but we really do have the best Yak game in all of the Yik Yak world.

app, COLLEGE, Cornell, yik yak