Presented by Cornell University’s Skimm’bassador Erica Baevsky
SPORTS NEWS (10/13)
WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR CO-WORKER FINALLY ACCEPTS YOUR FANTASY FOOTBALL TRADE…
About time. After months of playing hard to get, SABMiler (think: Miller Lite) agreed to a takeover offer from Anheuser-Busch InBev (think: Budweiser). The two companies negotiated the price for months, and now AB InBev is prepared to buy its main rival for the small price of about $104 billion. The deal still has to be approved by shareholders and regulators, but if it gets the green light, the two companies will create the largest brewing company in the world. Cheers.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS (10/13)
WHAT PEOPLE ARE WATCHING…
Turkey. Last Saturday, twin bombings in the country’s capital killed at least 95 people. It was the worst attack ever in Turkey. The attack happened at a peace rally calling for an end to violence between a Turkish group called the Kurdistan Workers’ Party (PKK) and the Turkish government. The two have been fighting for years, but it’s recently gotten worse. No one’s claimed responsibility for the attacks, but officials are investigating whether ISIS is involved. Meanwhile, rallies have broken out against Turkish President Erdogan for not doing enough to keep the country secure. Just in time for an election next month.
SOCIAL MEDIA NEWS (10/13)
WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU WANT TO SCREENSHOT A SNAPCHAT BUT IT DISAPPEARS…
Fortunately, these pictures aren’t going away anytime soon.
PLANNED PARENTHOOD NEWS (10/14)
WHAT TO SAY TO LIVEN UP A COCKTAIL PARTY…
Thoughts on Planned Parenthood? On Tuesday, the nonprofit said it will no longer accept reimbursements to cover the costs of fetal tissue donations used for research. Reminder: earlier this year, a pro-life group released a series of undercover videos that seem to show Planned Parenthood officials talking about selling organs and tissue from aborted fetuses for a profit. While it’s NOT illegal to donate tissue for medical research, it IS illegal to profit from it. Which Planned Parenthood says it definitely does not. Cue multiple Congressional investigations and an almost-but-not-quite-government-shutdown over whether to cut Planned Parenthood’s federal funding. Now, the nonprofit says it will cover the costs of these fetal tissue donation programs. Which is kind of like writing, ‘Leave me alone now, please’ on your forehead.
PUBLICATIONS NEWS (10/14)
WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR FRIEND WHO “READS PLAYBOY FOR THE ARTICLES”…
Now I actually believe you.
WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR FRIEND WHO’S OBSESSED WITH HOROSCOPES…
How does next year look? On Wednesday, Walmart read its cards and said ‘not good.’ The retail giant said its earnings will dip it low next year. Walmart says that’s thanks in big part to a pay increase it announced earlier this year. The retailer is raising the minimum wage for most workers to $10 an hour. It also said it’s pumping the brakes on store expansions. Investors didn’t take the news well. On Wednesday, Walmart stock had its worst day in decades – and took the rest of the market down with it. Balls to the Walmart.
CELEBRITY NEWS (10/15)
WHAT PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT…
Lamar Odom. Earlier this week, the former NBA star was found unconscious in a brothel in Nevada. He’s since been hospitalized. He reportedly had drugs in his system. Odom’s estranged wife Khloe Kardashian and her family, and former teammate Kobe Bryant are reportedly with him at the hospital.
RESTAURANT NEWS (10/15)
WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU NEED YOUR PHONE TO FIGURE OUT THE TIP…
Danny Meyer would hate to see this. On Wednesday, the CEO of Union Square Hospitality Group said that he’s getting rid of tipping at all of the company’s restaurants. New Yorkers know Danny Meyer as the guy behind pretty much everywhere they can’t get a reservation. Everybody else knows Danny Meyer as the guy behind Shake Shack (which isn’t affected by the change). Meyer’s move comes as a small but growing number of restaurants across the US are moving to a no-tipping system. Supporters, including Meyer, say this will help close the wage gap between your waiter and the people in the kitchen. But restauranteurs worry that US diners aren’t ready to say ‘bye’ to tipping, and ‘helloooo’ to higher menu prices. They’ll be watching to see if Meyer’s restaurants can ketchup with the change.
SPORTS NEWS (10/16)
WHAT TO SAY WHEN CHECKING YOUR FANTASY FOOTBALL PROJECTIONS…
These numbers seem off. On Thursday, The Wall Street Journal published an article alleging that there’s something off about Theranos (hint: Silicon Valley startup valued at $9 billion). You might have heard of it because 31-year-old founder Elizabeth Holmes is the youngest self-made female billionaire in the world. Theranos’s selling point is that it’s developed a blood test technology that works with just a finger prick – no scary needles necessary. The company says its technology can test for hundreds of things – think: cancer, cholesterol, pregnancy – and is faster and cheaper than traditional labs. The problem? WSJ says that Theranos doesn’t use this technology for most of the tests it does – it’s using traditional machines. WSJ also says that Theranos’s technology doesn’t actually work that well, and that the company hasn’t been transparent about it. Which might be breaking federal rules. Holmes said the report is “full of falsehoods.”
HEALTH NEWS (10/15)
WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR CO-WORKER CAN’T GET RID OF THAT COLD…
Guess what else lingers…
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