Ah, tis the season: the bags under our eyes are getting darker, the college sweaters and comfortable sweatpants are becoming more appealing, the “stuck in the library” snap chats are getting sent more frequent, and our coffee intake just reached a record high. You guessed it… it’s prelim season.
Although, prelims (also known as preliminary exams) are commonly known as midterms at other schools, Cornell likes to use this term instead, because this way they are able to not just give us one exam in the middle of the semester, like normal schools, but whenever they see fit: 2 hours before fall break? Sure, why not ruin your travel plans! The day after spring break? That won’t take away our one week of tranquility in our semester, go ahead! One prelim every day in a week, it’s not middle school you don’t have a homeroom teacher to schedule your tests. Right on!
But although, the 4 hour prelim on 7 weeks worth of material is only half the battle. To demonstrate the anxiety filled, caffeinated, type A environment we at Cornell experience daily I decided to map it out to you in the various stages of taking a prelim:
Step 1: Getting your Prelim Schedule
Cornelians find a sick pleasure in fighting over how much more work they have. “I have my econometrics and financial accounting prelims back to back! I barely have time to run from one to the other.” Congrats, do you want the CEO of Goldman Sachs to personally deliver your medal for you, or shall I just go ahead and smack you in the head with it?
“Ya, well I have a 30 page research paper due the morning of my orgo prelim” Alert the presses! You are officially the only stressed out pre-med, I’m sure your residency will be a breeze compared to sophomore year though, right?
Step 2: Choosing a library to study in
Although Cornelians study different subjects, come from different countries (read: different parts of the tri-state area), and speak different languages (read: make fun of my slightly different Canadian pronunciation of “sorry”) we all are united under our shared obsession with library preferences.
Because this obsession is neither healthy nor sane there are some taboo subjects to avoid when talking to a Cornell student mid prelim season:
1) Do NOT under any circumstances, ask them where they are studying in a library unless you want to hear a 4 hour monologue on their thoughts on controversial subjects such as: white noise vs. silence, first level quiet whispering vs. basement social scene, study rooms vs. stacks
2) Do NOT state your preference of library, unless you want to be permanently deafened by the shriek they will get when you do not say their favorite one.
3) Do NOT try to bring your friend to a different library than they usually go to, unless you enjoy hearing a ten page pro and con list about why theirs is better than yours.
However, DO ask a Hotelie where the nearest library is… because that’s just some comic relief waiting to happen. They’ll probably point to College Town since their “resource center” is akin to an outing at Pixel.
Step 3: Studying
What Cornelians say they did to prepare for prelims:
“Oh I just skimmed over the lecture slides, barely did any readings all semester.”
What Cornelians actually did to prepare:
Read and color-coded their reading notes, memorized the lecture slides, made cue cards, went to office hours and spent over 10 hours in the library stacks. But, yeah, basically the same thing.
Step 4: Pre-prelim rituals
Fine, I completely get it, we all have strange little rituals or habits we do before prelims to comfort us. Some have certain good luck charms or trinkets, while others do strange rituals like taking out exactly 3 pencils and 2 erasers just in case (may or may not be me)… But one thing I will never understand are those students who decide that they should take out their 500 page study guide and recite it all. First, thank you for making me feel inadequate, my study guide had around 498 pages less than yours. Second, thank you for making me realize I do not recognize or know half of the terms you are reciting verbatim. Third, do you really think the last seconds of cramming is going to move your inevitable 100% average to a 105%? Probably not.
Step 5: Taking the prelim
There are many different types of prelim takers, and fortunately, I have had the great pleasure of sitting next to the most unique of sorts:
-That girl who motivational speaks to herself the entire time: “You go Stacy!” “Four more, stace,” “Killin’ it!”
-That guy who hands in his test 4 minutes after it was handed out – The eternal question: did he hand it in because he didn’t know any answers or did I just sit next to the next Einstein of our generation… I will never know.
-That girl who asks 50 questions on a prelim that has 20 questions.
-That guy who takes breaks, eats a sandwich, goes to the bathroom, drinks water and take a nap in the middle of his prelim.
And the list continues…
Step 6: Talking about your prelim grade
You see, friends, unless you’re crying on the phone to your mother about your failure (B+) on your prelim, or emailing your father about your fourth A in a row (spoiler alert: he’s going to be happy for you, now stop emailing him) student’s are unlikely to actually talk about their numerical grades on prelims, this is why I have decoded how students discuss their grades, and what they actually represent.
“Ya, I’m happy with it.” A+
“It went pretty well, I guess…” A
“I mean, it was a little tricky, but I did fine.” A-
“Since I studied for it for an hour before, so it went well” B+
“Ya, I did fine, I’m not like sad but I’m not happy, you know?” B-
“Why do people only talk about prelims?! Can we stop talking about prelims for like a second” C+
“I’m transferring to [insert school with warm weather]” C
“My parents have just signed the forms, I’m officially disowned” C-
You’re welcome. Now go study for that prelim…
