It often happens before the breakup that everything unfolds. A recent study conducted by German researchers has revealed the existence of a true ” point of no return ” in romantic relationships. A specific moment from which marital satisfaction declines so drastically that it becomes nearly impossible to save the couple. So, how can you tell if you’re already there?
🧠A Study Revealing The Precise Phases Of Romantic Decline
Researchers from Johannes Gutenberg University in Mainz, Germany, analyzed national data from Germany, Australia, the United Kingdom, and the Netherlands. Their goal? To understand the exact moment when a relationship becomes irretrievable. Their conclusion is clear: romantic relationships go through two major phases of decline before breakup.
The first is termed the pre-terminal phase, a period that can last several years where satisfaction gradually decreases. This is followed by the tipping point, where the decline accelerates significantly. This moment signifies the onset of the terminal phase, which lasts on average between 7 and 28 months before the breakup becomes inevitable.
🧠An Asymmetrical Process Between The Two Partners
What makes this stage even more complex is that it is experienced differently by the two partners. One partner (usually the one who ends the relationship) feels dissatisfaction for a long time. For them, the descent began several months or even years ago.
In contrast, the partner who is left is often taken by surprise. They only perceive the decline shortly before the separation, resulting in a more abrupt and painful drop. This asymmetry partly explains the emotional shock felt by the person being left and the confusion that can accompany the end of the relationship.
🛠Can We Still Act Before It’s Too Late?
According to Professor Janina Bühler, the main author of the study and couples therapist, it is crucial to detect the early warning signs as soon as possible. The key lies in intervening during the pre-terminal phase, before the relationship enters its final stretch.
Thus, in the small daily dissatisfactions, the gestures that become less frequent, the silences that stretch, lie the true opportunity to save a couple. Because once the terminal phase is triggered, the chances of rebuilding become very slim.
🧩 How To Recognize The Warning Signals?
Certain clues are unmistakable: decreased communication, loss of intimacy, feeling of loneliness together, accumulation of unspoken words, or the absence of shared plans. If you are persistently experiencing these elements, it might be time to speak frankly.
The study reminds us that couples do not separate overnight. The decline is gradual, but once the tipping point is crossed, the chance of turning back becomes nearly impossible. Hence the importance of paying attention to the early signals.
💬 The Importance of Communication And Prevention
For Professor Bühler, prevention remains the best weapon against breakup. By discussing openly about needs and identifying frustrations before they become chronic, couples can initiate a positive transformation.
Couples therapy, implementing new habits, active listening… every action counts. Acting before the final disconnect is essential to give the relationship a chance to renew itself.
🕰 A Final Reminder: It’s Never Too Early To React
This study provides an unprecedented perspective, but also offers a hopeful message: yes, relationships can decline, but it’s not a fatality. By becoming aware of these dynamics, everyone can become an actor of change.
Time is a precious ally, but only if one acts before the terminal phase sets in. So, if you feel a malaise in your relationship, talk, listen, act. Because sometimes, true love doesn’t die…it just waits to be revived.
