How to Pretend You Recognized an Acquaintance in a Mask

By Katie Fehrenbaker

Before COVID-19, I thought the most embarrassing thing that could happen on the streets of Collegetown was waving back to someone who wasn’t actually waving to you, but rather the person behind you. We’ve all done it and it’s not a fun experience. Now, we’ve got a far worse embarrassment beast on our hands- the inability to recognize people who we don’t know that well in a mask.. You know the type- the friend of a friend of a friend, an old lab partner, someone from your freshman year dorm; you get the idea. 

Whether you used to sport an overly-peppy smile to full-fledged RBF, masks cover ‘em all up, equalizing the friendliness playing field. Apart from the obvious, you know, protecting the community, masks have been great for going incognito, namely for those early morning treks to CTB when you really want to fly under the radar. Sometimes, however, you’re met with the minute crisis of failing to recognize the person who is greeting you, and, worst of all, you know that they positively realized it, too. 

Fortunately for you all, I am no stranger to this experience, despite the fact that I’ve only been back on campus for a few weeks. On any given day, you can guarantee that I failed to hear a muffled ‘hey’ or that I stared for a bit tooooo long when someone waved, trying to piece together who the &%*@ the person is. The truth of the matter is that unless someone has a distinguishable haircut, is significantly taller or shorter than most, or regularly wears the same apparel or accessories, it is incredibly difficult to figure out who people are these days. 

I know this article is framed as a ‘How-to’ piece, but the truth of the matter is that I’m still figuring it out. My plan for the last few days has involved waving when in doubt, letting them struggle to recognize who I am, instead of the other way around. That’s really all I’ve got so far. Apologies that this title was misleading. 

On the bright side, if we don’t end up figuring out a solution to this social faux pas, it’s not the end of the world. We won’t be wearing masks forever! Ultimately, I think recognizing acquaintances in masks is an acquired skill, something that needs a lot of practice until we get it right. I’m just waiting until the winter when we add hats and scarves to our mask looks- now THAT is going to make for the real challenge. 

P.S. If you can’t relate to this article because you don’t wear a mask, we’ve got a problem. Wear. A. Mask. :)