Each Class Year, By the Letter

By Aliza Schub

If you’re ever unsure of what class year someone is on campus, use these acrostics to identify their behavior as “newbie on campus” or “seasoned pro”. Here are the four class years, spelled out letter by letter:

FRESHMAN

Follows everyone they meet on Instagram

Reads all of their assigned readings for homework

Excited about dining hall food because "it's so convenient"

Studies in the math library because they don't know where Mann is yet 

Heads out for class 30 min ahead of time in the morning

Makes a list on their phone in Notes of any upperclassmen they meet first semester 

Asks questions in class 

Nasties. Nasties. Nasties.

SOPHOMORE

Shows up to campus with newfound confidence

Orders flatbreads for lunch every day now that they've found Macs

Plays hookie for lecture two to three times a week

Hopelessly looks for LinkedIn connects in every corner of campus 

Obnoxiously wears their campus org apparel  everywhere they go

Makes fun of freshman for doing things they did 3 months ago

Organizes club events and invites every freshman they know

Readily drinks on weeknights no matter what

Eager, eager, eager.

JUNIOR

Just looking for a summer job

Under a lot of stress

Nostalgic for the days they lived on North 

In Europe for the Spring semester, maybe

Omits themselves from their prior social scenes

Recruiting. Recruiting. Recruiting. 

SENIOR

Scared of becoming a real adult soon

Excited to take Wines

No more f*cks given

Interviews the whole Fall semester 

Orders pitchers at CTB on a Friday afternoon, finally

Reality, reality, reality.